seven weeks

It’s amazing how time just passes. Seven weeks to the day Ez was born and it feels like an eternity ago. One week and a day ago I was taking my FNP boards and I can hardly imagine wondering whether I’d pass, which I was doing for a good two months up to that date.

Autumn especially flies by around here because the season is so brief before suddenly Thanksgiving and Christmas are around the corner and everyone is hoping for snow. This season is a unique time for me this year. I am eagerly awaiting the holidays as usual, and yet mentally slamming on the breaks, trying to slow their arrival and soak up every minute I’ve got at home before January comes and full-time Nurse Practitionerdom is upon me.

I start as an FNP in internal medicine at a community health center not far from us on January 6th. I’ve been hoping, praying, scheming for a job at this clinic since before I even started my grad program. I couldn’t be more excited. It’s seriously my current dream job and I’m still in a bit of disbelief that I landed it. Also last week when Jer and I started talking childcare logistics after getting my schedule I kind of wanted to crawl under a rock and never come out. Blegh.

I’ve just been a little amazed at how much I love spending the days with our little man. I don’t think it’s that I feel guilt about my plans to work full-time, or fear that we won’t be able to find someone trustworthy to help care for him. I just really like being at home with the bub. God has inconveniently given us a delightful firstborn, which has prevented me from getting those get-me-out-of-the-house-and-take-this-baby-off-my-hands-or-I’m-going-to-lose-it feelings enough to make me eager to get back to working full-time. Dead gum.

I know (or at least trust) that God will somehow get me through leaving Ezra on a daily basis to work. Millions of parents do it, and get through it. I will be one of them. But for now I am seriously working to be present in the moments I am blessed to have in this season. To rest, and enjoy new motherhood, so that I can carry the joys of this time into the tougher days ahead. I really want to lean into this time. Pray for me. Pray for the days ahead, but pray for the days I’ve got now, that I would listen to what God has to show me today, and allow him to prepare me for what’s to come.

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